The Ascent of Loki
by Cagari
Summary: His ambition led him to the death of the light within his soul, and the birth of the ruling of darkness.


_**The Ascent of Loki**_

"It was always you."

Loki stared on in feigned happiness at his brother's ceremony in becoming future king of Asgard. He applauded and returned the smile that his brother had flashed him. When Thor had finished embracing their parents, he and Loki exchanged tight long embraces.

"Thank you brother, for watching my back, both within and outside of battle," Thor said while embracing.

"Likewise brother. There are many a time I remember you saving me from myself and from others."

They stood back. "I love you, my brother," Thor said while resting a hand on Loki's shoulder.

"I love you, my brother."

* * *

Loki gazed out on the city of Asgard, watching forces' transports fly through the sky and the brilliant flashing lights of the city. While gazing off into the vast night sky he particularly loved to focus his attention on one of the moons of Asgard, Bil. It dwarfed its cousin Mani which gave light to the city during twilight and the early hours of the evening, but Bil was his favorite since it ruled over much of the night its radiant deep green light. He was very fond of the color green. Thor's was red, which also happened to be the color of Mani's light.

They were opposites in every way. He loved his brother dearly, but whenever he was near him, he felt his confidence and recognition drain away. He felt that his skills would not compare to Thor's physical prowess and charisma. Thor had many friends, while he was a bit of a loner. Thor was well loved by the people of Asgard despite his childishness and brashness—Loki was in the background most of the time even though father had considered and had even carried out many of his carefully thought out plans and suggestions. Thor's specialty was physical strength and brashness—his was magic and deception, but the former was more prized in Asgard.

"He and I are different, but different does not equate insignificance," Loki said to himself as he lightly paced on the roof of the palace, one of his favorite places of meditation and practice for his magic. The area was vast enough so that if anything went wrong, nobody would get hurt. There were no guards stationed on the roof unless a threat from invaders was imminent, and since Odin father had not yet taken Odin sleep, Loki had no need to be concerned of any for some time. The roof could only be accessed through climbing a five-story ladder, but after Loki had mastered teleportation, he never needed to take it again. He learned it after one of his and Thor's adventures together—Thor always wanted to challenge father and mother's words about keeping safe, so he dragged Loki into going to the roof with him when they were 10 years old. Thor's brashness and physical strength, even at that age, helped him get to the roof with ease, while Loki's dislike of unnecessary labor and weaker physical condition got him to the roof a good five minutes after Thor. However, the sight was well worth it, and after they managed to get back down, he learned how to teleport himself in two days.

He chuckled and smiled warmly as he recalled their adventure.

* * *

"Brother, mother and father—"

"Will not be pleased! You have said that for at least the 20th time! We are already here, so enjoy the moment Loki!"

Loki tried to relax himself by gazing out at the city, and it worked.

"And I thought the palace was enormous," he murmured to himself.

Thor swung an arm around his brother, and stretched his hand out in front of him.

"One day brother, this will all be ours! Do you not look forward to that day?"

Loki grinned wide and laughed with his brother. "Indeed!"

* * *

The smile disappeared from his face and a cold look surfaced into his eyes. "Together…"

He hurled a ball of green energy at a flaggermus that was flying overhead, and its ashes floated into the wind. He furiously started to pace back and forth.

"WHY would they pass the crown to HIM?" he shouted. "**_I_** would make a better ruler—I am more calculating, rational, intelligent, and patient than HE is! Why, if I were made ruler, I would definitely appoint him head commander of the forces of Asgard, as that role suits him perfectly! I lead the country, and he leads the forces! Why, why, why? Is it because I am different in some ways? If then, how do they factor into father's decision? Father and mother are indeed wise and possess incredible foresight, but what led them to this decision?"

He threw his head back and ran his fingers through his hair. "Had I not done everything I could have to prove my worthiness to rule and my love for you both? Do you love me less than you both love Thor? He…always seemed to be the favorite…," he sadly trailed off, head drooping to stare at the floor.

All throughout their lives, he felt that he had to work twice as hard as Thor did to earn their parents' affection. In fact, he felt that he had to work at _everything _twice as hard to get noticed—it took him twice as long as Thor did to strengthen his body for combat. The conditioning of his mind and magic did not have as noticeable and ready of results as Thor's physical feats and mastery of lightning, and he knew from their thoughts that the people of Asgard preferred Thor to himself as ruler and in general. Usually, Thor would get invited first to special events in the country unless it were a sorcery event.

"I have never really felt like I have belonged here…" he breathed out. He was not sure how long he had been holding his breath. He gazed at the moon again, and a light flickered in his eyes.

"I shine sometimes, but why should I shine sometimes, when I can shine all of the time? I deserve it after all of my hard work, do I not? I will just create my own path, my own place of belonging. If I cannot find it here, I will create it through force."

A wicked grin appeared on his face to accompany the plans that were forming in his mind, and as he stretched his hand to grab the moon, dark laughter permeated the night.

* * *

"Loki, do not let go!"

Father would not be able to hold both of them, and he did not want to face anybody after the havoc he had unleashed upon Asgard.

Loki looked down again, and wished he had not. He would fall to only the other gods knew where if he let go, and even fewer were certain if he would survive. He looked up at both his father and Thor, and with his eyes full of sadness and guilt, let go.

Thor screamed in anguish as he watched his brother fall into the universe.

Loki bitterly smiled as he fell, a few tears falling back up. With one last glance at both his father and brother, he whispered, "It was always you."

Abandoned by all but darkness, it embraced him as he lost consciousness.

* * *

_"This foreboding presence…where did it come from? From within? It feels strangely familiar…"_

_"The only thing that has not abandoned you Loki. I have always been with you."_

He felt his consciousness suspended in what he guessed was his spirit's vault. He lightly pulled himself up to a standing position. He looked all around him, but all he could make out was a thick, inky darkness.

"Who are you? I demand you show yourself to me now!" he shouted.

"Oh but Loki, how can you say that to yourself?" A mirror appeared and within, he saw a reflection of himself.

Loki was shocked and grief stricken as he turned away with his face in his hands. A moan of frustration left him as he turned around, but the mirror kept appearing in front of him.

"Nuh uh uh, no running," his reflection taunted.

"NO. I refuse to believe that my spirit is filled with nothing but darkness," he defiantly and angrily addressed his reflection. To affirm himself, he remembered the love he felt for his family and the people of Asgard.

"Whom you all betrayed," the reflection retorted.

Sadness and anguish overcame his being, and he dropped to his knees. "You are correct…I will never be forgiven. Not that I matter much to them anyway…"

"Stop it with the self-loathing. What a pathetic sight."

Loki raised his head in surprise.

"You call yourself a god? A god does not reduce himself to a sniveling mess because of such feelings as guilt and sadness over insignificant individuals. They do not matter. Love is not a matter of a god. Power, knowledge, influence, control, and glory are. Concern yourself with obtaining those virtues!"

Loki laughed. "O, but me, I am dead."

"O, but me, you are not."

Loki opened his eyes with a start and inhaled a deep breath and coughed violently. The fact that he was coughing was a good sign—this planet had oxygen. He pulled himself to be on his elbows and knees, continuing to cough with tears running down his face, his lungs becoming acquainted with being used again. He ached all over from bruises and cuts. His sorcery got the most serious injuries—all that remained of them was a few deep bruises.

How long had it been since he had fallen? Hours, days, months? He glanced at the sky, and noticed that the constellation system was that of Earth. He obtained the time and a rough location through the constellation, but would have to wait to figure out a date.

After his coughing had seized and he could breathe normally, he took a closer notice of his surroundings. Crickets were chirping and he was in grass near a creek. A very nice environment to meditate. He closed his eyes and allowed the matters of the world to flow into his mind.

_A small town in the Midwestern states has been almost completely devastated by…civil unrest in the Middle East…a star reached supernova levels a week ago…scientists are still trying to find the cause…are we alone in this world?...S.H.I.E.L.D. has been working to ensure that the world is prepared for extraterrestrials, and not just the little green men we have been conditioned to think of…_

"Sounds like they are referring to citizens of Asgard…" he muttered, and decided to follow this strand in particular. He plunged deep into the secrets of the strand.

_Nick Fury is the leader led by a council…not too long ago Captain America had been found in the ice in the Arctic along with a strange cube dubbed "Tessaract". _

Wait a minute.

"…The…Tesseract…"

His eyes grew wide as he recalled the legends behind the power source and the source of knowledge unfathomable.

"With the Tesseract…I can accomplish beyond anyone's wildest dreams. I can unlock the secrets of the universe, obtain power from the magic and technology of the planets, as well as from pacts made with the different peoples, and…" his eyes shone with a wild blue fire, "…subjugate whomever I desire…I will get the praise and glory I deserve!"

Within himself, the reflection offered Loki his hand. Loki accepted, and began to help pull him out. After he was out, his reflection stabbed Loki through the heart with a dagger. He fell to the ground. His reflection stood over him with a smile, grabbed him roughly by the collar, and shoved him into the mirror. Loki tried to get out, but as his hands left nothing but blood on the inside of the mirror, he realized that a part of him would be lost forever.

He gave up and closed his eyes. "Thank you…my family, friends, and people, for briefly teaching me love and the ways of light…"  
The mirror dropped and shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor of his soul.


End file.
